Where did April go? The older I get, the faster time seems to pass and I find myself not wanting to miss even a minute. I would like to say that there is a reason I did not post the entire month of April. Sadly, there is not. There have been some professional challenges and some personal challenges but they are all opportunities that if I had chosen to, I could have drawn from. Sadly, I did not. I have a tendency to want my issues solved, wrapped up in a tidy package and tied with a bow. This is not how life works. We are in constant motion and while I do believe in the power of change, it is subtle and quiet. Change is about the choices we make every day, over and over until we carve out new habits.
The reason I have not written this month is because I have been stuck. I continue to receive feedback that my writing feels like I am circling the peripheral, not getting into the meat of it, like the real stuff is just around the corner. I would normally take this as I take all feedback; process it, determine if I believe it and if so, create some strategies for moving forward (after a bit of drama on my part). This has felt more challenging however. Writing “about” is not a conscious act. I feel that I do expose myself in my writing, but maybe only one layer, maybe there is more there, deeper, closer to the heart of things.
So here I am, ready to step in, admit that this is a challenge for me, and take you on my journey. I will not be afraid to write, it will not be perfect, but I am hoping that it will be real and that as we talk about change, it will not feel like we are all on the outside looking in.